mmm...

again... again... again...
why does it happen to me? why do make this mistake... why cant i just say? NOTICE ME. no that would be selfish, to want him to talk to me.

its selfish that i want to be the first thing on his mind, i want to be the last thing on his mind, like he is in mine but that would be selfish. i hate wondering whos on his mind sometimes, i hate wondering if thats the moment he tells me im not the one for him.

is it that bad of me to be a priority in his life? i guess so. so i wont anymore, ill just sit here in stupid san diego and just watch from afar. i wont try anymore, i dont want to try anymore. i want to feel happy again. why is it that a year ago around this time i was happy? and now? everything has gone downhill i dont know anyone, no one knows me. im alone in this world and im too afraid to turn to anyone.

im done