so hmm... lately everything just been... confusing
i want so much more out of everything
i shouldnt feel the way i do about my family but the thing is i do. I love them yes. they gave me food, they gave me clothes and most of all they've given me shelter. and i do thank that
but i dont understand is how they can give me everything which i appreciate but everything i do... to them apparently doesnt deserve a simple thank you. even if its done wrong. why dont i get reimbursed? why is it me whose always losing money, eversince i was a child, maybe i still am and thats why im being treated the way i am.

friends arent so much better. because every attempt, all my effort has gone down the drain. in the end its all just a failed "mission" so i decided not to try anymore with them. if they even want my friendship all they have to do is say the word... too bad no one has said it yet.

the only thing i have is my boyfriend... i love him. and i miss him terribly. i hate that hes so far away, that all these other couples around me have it so much easier... i could be happy, but my happiness is across the country