SO what is it? is it that i just love drama? i like getting hurt. that cant be it what person in the right mind would want that for themselves. I just dont understand. He hurts me but not physically so i cant hurt him physically, emotionally he gets me every which way he has power over me, and i think he knows it. He doesnt want me to get him anything, is it because he doesnt want to get attached to me? am i really that bad of a person why do I deserve this. GOD, please tell me what i have done to deserve this?? there are worse people in the world and yet here i am struggling to choose between life and death. it sounds all the more sweeter to just get away cause i know this isnt the end of the line, if i keep on living, there will be much more heartbreak in store for me, so whats the point, cant you just save me lord? save me from all this hurt, just take me away? I dont know how much more i can take. My own mother isnt even talking to me. SO WHAT... im dead inside.... i hate this